After I wrote this I asked a friend or two if I should post and they said, “Nahhhhhh”. I wrote it after having a couple of drinks when perhaps writing is not at its best.
Sometimes, you step back and look at the way things are in your life. On good weeks, you can feel a certain excitement or elation and other times maybe boredom or some sort of anxiety. The holidays are approaching and I have looked at the fact that I am single. Is it because I can not find a good woman? Not really, because I meet great women all the time.
Now, I have never posted on my Facebook wall anything about finding a quality woman or the women of my dreams or anything of that sort. When I think about this, I think the reason why is it could be insulting to someone who maybe I dated a few times and it never worked out. She is also single and available and maybe we have some history. If I am looking, why didn’ I pick her?
What actually makes the right woman? Why is a pretty, single, intelligent woman not good enough for some to settle down?
For some, it might be that they want the perfect girl. The right nose, height, age, background, color, etc. etc. etc. But is that really it? How do we know when when we find the perfect girl that her attitude doesn’t totally suck. What if she has already dated some of your friends which you find a turn off?
I heard someone use an expression again a few days ago which I had heard which is quite frank and maybe someone will consider vulgar: “You show me the hottest girl you can find and I will show you someone who is bored with fucking her”. Ok, don’t take this the wrong way. This could mean two things. One, that men are never satisfied no matter how good they have it. Or two, perhaps outside beauty isn’t everything…. That if the person is super hot, but has no personality, sex will never be enough.
I have been a bit “gun shy” about entering another relationship and then being in something which is hard to get out of. Therefore, I have a some kind of a tendency to not commit. To tell people that I only want to be friends or something.
When I came to the Philippines like some people, and unlike some others, I didn’t come to find a wife or to find love. I came for work without even thinking about what it would be like when it came to my dating life. When I first got here, I really didn’t go out much. I didn’t know many people and didn’t date very often. I was fortunate to meet some really quality friends right off the bat and have the occasional events to go to. My friend came from the UK and got bored a little easier and was somewhat antsy to go out more and before long, we became “famous” Hybrid and Starr patrons (Of course I don’t really believe we became famous. Filipinas say that we are in a joking way because everyone knew us there).
I have not been a good boy or a bad boy as far as I am concerned. I don’t think I am a “slut”, definitely not a pervert, but am also not an angel. But I have in all honesty had both meaningless flings and also meaningful dates and series of dates with people to this day that I care for and think highly of.
I can easily boast that I have never cheated like many guys I know have and do; however, I have also not often committed which in itself is not good. As mentioned, I did have a nice relationship which was very comfortable that lasted three or four months since I have been in Davao. It didn’t end because of a third party or anything like that and we are still friends and warm when we bump into each other, but simply, the age gap and reality probably wasn’t ideal.
Yes, I have been “committment challenged”. I know that there is always a prettier girl, smarter girl, funnier girl and the grass is always greener, but the saying goes that indecision is a form of insanity. You will go insane if you constantly try to do better because there is no ideal point. It is all subjective and could always be changing.
So the logical solution is to find the person that matches as closely as possible to your “goals for a mate” and then work hard at creating something fun and honest and real. You would then never need to look at another woman, right? Why does that sound so easy? It isn’t. That takes a strong, honest and mature man. Am I that guy? I think I could be!